When you say you're using the Eclipse plug in, do you mean the QNX Momentics IDE (which is The native BlackBerry 10 IDE but based on Eclipse)? If so, here are the steps I take.
If you have the simulator running, make sure development mode is on.
Click the Run Menu -> Run Configurations
Select "Simulator-Debug" for the run configuration (note the simulator needs to run the x86 compiled binary not ARM)
You mention that you have the IP address set up, so the simulator should appear as a target.
I also like to set the auto build option.
Apply these settings and close.
Now run and the IDE should build the code, and deploy it to your simulator.