I very much share your take on CAPTCHA. I'll list what I have been able to detect so far, for my own detection script, with similar goals. It's only partial, as they are many more headless browsers.
Fairly safe to use exposed window properties to detect/assume those particular headless browser:
window._phantom (or window.callPhantom) //phantomjs
window.__phantomas //PhantomJS-based web perf metrics + monitoring tool
window.Buffer //nodejs
window.emit //couchjs
window.spawn //rhino
The above is gathered from jslint doc and testing with phantom js.
Browser automation drivers (used by BrowserStack or other web capture services for snapshot):
window.webdriver //selenium
window.domAutomation (or window.domAutomationController) //chromium based automation driver
The properties are not always exposed and I am looking into other more robust ways to detect such bots, which I'll probably release as full blown script when done. But that mainly answers your question.
Here is another fairly sound method to detect JS capable headless browsers more broadly:
if (window.outerWidth === 0 && window.outerHeight === 0){ //headless browser }
This should work well because the properties are 0 by default even if a virtual viewport size is set by headless browsers, and by default it can't report a size of a browser window that doesn't exist. In particular, Phantom JS doesn't support outerWith or outerHeight.
ADDENDUM: There is however a Chrome/Blink bug with outer/innerDimensions. Chromium does not report those dimensions when a page loads in a hidden tab, such as when restored from previous session. Safari doesn't seem to have that issue..
Update: Turns out iOS Safari 8+ has a bug with outerWidth & outerHeight at 0, and a Sailfish webview can too. So while it's a signal, it can't be used alone without being mindful of these bugs. Hence, warning: Please don't use this raw snippet unless you really know what you are doing.
PS: If you know of other headless browser properties not listed here, please share in comments.