First, notice that you don't want the port owner to die. So move any "dangerous" code out to another process and make the port owner as dumb as possible. This is error-mitigation the Erlang way. Now, if that process dies, something is really bad, so in that case it may be clever to recycle the port as well. But since we moved everything out, we are counting on that not happening.
Regarding 2, the port will send a specific message when it terminates, so you can arrange for your spawned process to gracefully detect this and terminate with it. See
http://www.erlang.org/doc/reference_manual/ports.html