My current understanding is that, in order to benefit from the parallel niftiness of TestNG, one should use the static main method in org.testng's jar file when running the Java class from the command line rather than from inside Eclipse IDE.
The issue then becomes classpath, which defines how java finds all the JAR files. I found http://javarevisited.blogspot.com/2012/10/5-ways-to-add-multiple-jar-to-classpath-java.html to be most useful because it has the * wildcard mentioned --- VERY helpful when you need to reference all the jar files required for Selenum + TestNG + custom test suites.
This is my current Windows BAT file, and it works. ADV.jar contains my custom class but no main method.
setlocal
set r=d:\Apps\Selenium\
cd /d %~dp0
java -classpath %r%Downloaded\*;%r%MyCompany\ADV.jar; org.testng.TestNG .\testng-customsuite-adv.xml
pause
All the JAR files that I downloaded from public places went into my d:\Apps\Selenium\Downloaded folder. I put my custom ADV.jar file in d:\Apps\Selenium\MyCompany to keep it separate.
I created my ADV.jar file from Eclipse using Export Jar file and ignored warnings about a missing main method.
Aside: while this https://mcmap.net/q/1167255/-how-to-run-testng-tests-from-main-in-an-executable-jar was very intriguing, I could not figure out how to make that work.